The moments that make up the dog days

Today is a little hard so I'm going to post another blog. This time, I'm going to put some art in it from the great Scott Radke.

Its okay to be called a liar sometimes. Especially when the people who call you that are assholes who are lying to save their own sorry asses. I took a psych evaluation, and a poly graph test. I proved myself and now I'm up in arms with their questions, concerns and bull shit. I'm okay. The question that they ask is, How do you look through other people's eyes? What the question should be is, how do you look through other people's eyes when someone fills them full of assumptions?

Some people in life hold no disregard for human life and they treat others like shit. The reason for this is unknown. What we do know is that they suck.

Ten Reasons that I'm not a stripper.

This is just a random list that I'm compiling. These are the ten reasons that I'm not a stripper.

1. I am clumsy and I would trip over something. I might break my leg in that process.

2. I am clumsy and I might kick someone in the face while I'm trying to get sexy.

3. I drink a lot, so I might get drunk and fall asleep.

4. I am picky with music, so more then likely I wouldn't dance. I would just stand there and make fun of the song that was playing.

5. I get side tracked easily. So more then likely, I would be dancing and then see a pretty colored light. I would get side tracked and say oh look at the light. Then I would trip, fall and hurt myself or someone else.

6. I would be late to work and not get my stage time in.

7. I could not get close to some guy that I did not like. I have this thing about my personal space.

8. I would drop my money constantly due to the fact that I'm clumsy. I would never be able to dance because I would spend half my time picking things up.

9. That is not my calling in life. I have no interest in stripping.

10. I would start laughing.

I wanted to say that it is Wednesday, so Happy Wednesday everyone. I am uploading a kick ass picture of the Wednesday Addams. ROCK ON. Yes even on the bad days.

The second picture is of a crack head looking Barbie. She is all Vampire punky like. Yes we all had our favorite Barbies growing up and they all ended up looking like that. I blame small dogs, toy boxes, and little sisters. lol jk but do not do crack. You know what smokey the bear says. Don't light a match. You could start a forest fire. Everyday is shit.

Silver Bullet Mints and Blue Hair

I have this habit of trying every candy that comes out on the market and I found some Silver Bullet Mints. They come in a little tin can and claim to offer you werewolf protection. I doubt that because I have never seen a werewolf. They taste like a cross between mint, black liquorish, dust, and cigarettes. I doubt that I'll buy the Silver Bullet mints again but I will keep the little tin can for a keepsake. :) It was cute and had this pretty blue wolf face on it. Very nice. I will add in a picture of the mints later.

I also had a triple chocolate Twix candy bar. It was good. You know how Twix candy bars taste so I'll leave that alone.

I tried one of those Twilight candy bars. Its like a Cadbury Creme Egg. I got the one with Edward on it.

I took a picture of the moon the other night but the shot came out like crap because it was on my cell.

Everyone who knows me, knows that I have sleeping problems. I have tried a LOT of sleeping pills and well they are all the same. If it is not a valium then what do you expect? My mom told me about a pill called Melatonin that she heard about in a movie. It can be deadly if not taken correctly. Haha. That will make you want to take it. Oh yeah I tried it and it does work. Oddly enough they say not to take it for longer then two weeks. That makes me feel so much safer. Now all I need is one of those disclaimers that say "Keep away from open flames." Then I'll be set for life. YO LOL JK

I am coloring my hair blue, or at least part of it. I already have the orange color due to that red that I put in my hair fading. I want Patty O'Green hair, but more then anything I want purple hair. I figured that if I put blue in my hair, then the redish orange pigments would react well and make a purple color. I hope anyway.

I have seen some more movies but I'm not going to write my typical movie review today. I have a LOT on my mind and I had to go get a bottle of Midol from Wal-Mart. Those dick heads handed me off again and now all these people want to steal from me. I have to stay up all fucking night to finish my work and then I have to copy right it the morning. I don't even know if I will have the money for that. I swear to GOD as my witness that if one of those pissants does not stand up and do something to prevent that shit from happening, then I will blow and I will open my fucking mouth... I will write an autobiography about my life and copy right that. Then I will go after them all in a court room. FUCK THIS SHIT.
Oh yeah here are the movies that I have seen lately;
Frailty,
9,
The Book of Eli,
Dead Clowns.
As a side note; I will come back in here later and I will write a full review on those movies. I'm pissed off more then I ever could have been before. I had to pay $125.00 to prove what we all ready know about me today. So I'm not sure if I can afford a cr. FUCK!

Corn Dog Mints

I found out that they make Corn Dog Mints. Although they do not taste like mint and they do not taste like a corn dog. They taste like cotton candy. I found them at Hastings. In the ingredients they claim to have artificial corn dog flavoring. I have no idea in hell where you get artificial corn dog flavoring. The reason is, corn dog flavoring is corn bread mix. Its that stuff that is powered and you just add water. So how do you make that simpler? Okay well everyone says I'm lazy. There you go.

I have a lot on my mind, so now I'm going to just unload on here. For one my name is Jessica. For two I do not feel like I have to answer questions but yeah I guess I do. Where is the word random in that.
I did watch two more movies via Net Flix. One of them was called LO, and the other one was called Lost Voyage.

LO-
This movie is about a man who after falling in love with a woman, she is then taken by a demon. This man takes a satanic book the woman left behind and he tries to summon a demon named LO. The demon LO shows him memories and plays with the mans head. The man demands to see this April woman again. Then the demon LO brings her and in the end, LO is April. The movie had some of the best costumes but it was kind of like watching theater with a Halloween theme. I did like it a lot, but I think that had to do with the costumes and special makeup affects. It did get a little cheesy in a few places but its okay. I would like to add, that in one part the man kept taking the Lords name in vain. That I could have done without. Shit its not like God will damn those demons anymore. What was the point in that part of the film anyway?

Lost Voyage-
This movie was good. It did come off like a made for TV movie but it was not all that bad. I think if they would have done a few things different, that it would have been great. I love the Bermuda Triangle, and ghost so this was a big hell yeah in my opinion. In the movie a man (who lost his parents years earlier on a ship) is ask to go on the ship that disappeared years before. The ship has reappeared and they claim the Bermuda Triangle is just a black portal hole that leads to hell. The special affects were pretty damn good and they did not do anything retarded but there was one thing. With special equipment to test the air in a room, like to say that you will notice ententes (Ghost) you do not actually see a person. It only shows you a colored shadow. This movie showed a child on a rocking horse at one point. blah blah but it was cool.

I do not know him, I do not live like him, This has nothing to do with me or my life but here is a big get well soon to Rob Zombie. Rock on man. I hope your eye gets to feeling better. I would also like to say that I feel dumb but released now. I looked at some photos on RZ's blog and I thought Tommy looked different but it was J.J. FROM SLIPKNOT. I guess he will be touring with RZ this summer. Very nice choice, but TOMMY COME BACK. No I'm NOT in love with Tommy, or JJ for that matter.

Bubble Yum, and YAM YAM STICKS

I rented Shutter Island, and Clownstrophobia. I also wanted to upload some other random pictures that I have taken. The first picture that you'll see is from the grocery store. I found some pickle products called Bubbies. I did not buy them. I just took that picture with my cell phone. The second picture is of the DVD called Clownstrophobia that I rented. The third picture is where I wrote the word S.H.I.T on my shirt and then I drew a turd. That is in light of how I feel lately and it can go with that crappy Clownstrophobia movie too. The fourth picture is this candy called Yam Yam. They are like biscuit sticks that you dip in milky waxy chocolate. blah blah and the last picture is of chocolate Bubble Yum Bubble gum. They made a mint chocolate gum back in the 1980's but now they make plan chocolate gum. I did not like it. It tasted like an old tootie fruity that had been left out in some old ladies purse. Gramma take me home no doubt. lol jk

Okay the movies-

Clownstrophobia-

In this movie a young girl has this insane brother who dresses up like a clown and then kisses her. He goes and kills their parents and is locked up. Years later he gets out and kills her roommate. Then a judge locks him up for life in a mental institution. The woman grows up to be a doctor and decided that the way she was going to get rid of her fear, was to hold a group therapy session at her house. She only invites young people. The young people are morons and annoying. The acting was so bad and it came off like a cross between porn and one of those After School Specials from the 1970s/1980s. All the doctors in the mental institution wore glasses as to say that- if you wear glasses then you must be a doctor. The staff at the hospital carried around notebook paper and packaging envelopes the whole time. I guess they did not want to spend the money on props. I am not sure but it was too stupid to care about. The orderlies decided to have a party where they put a psycho in with another mental patient to watch them fight. That was sad and weird to see. It was not funny and it was not spooky. blah blah and oh yes when you talk about this movie, you will say blah blah. Snuffles (the brother who was in the mental ward) dresses up like a clown gets out and comes to the house where the therapy session is taking place. He wants to kill everyone. At one point, the sister who became a doctor is standing in the hallway. She keeps saying over and over- "Kids you can't leave yet. You're not well." She kept saying it in this creepy weird voice and she looked like that chick from Demon night who put that tube of lip stick in her nipple. That was not the Tales from the Crypt movie that I'm talking about either. Okay anyway blah blah this movie was so bad, that if I ever see it on sale at Halloween time, I will NOT buy it. Let me put it to you this way- if you get this in your stocking at Christmas time, just donate it to the Good Will or burn it. Okay I will say one nice thing about it. The clown mask were perfect. They over did it with the costume faces. That was perfect and I hate giving them credit but I have too.

Shutter Island

This movie was great. I loved it. I can relate to morons who want to make you think that you're going crazy because they do not want to admit that they fucked up with you. Teddy is a marshal and has a new partner. Teddy has been looking into Shutter Island for a while because of certain reports and a man (that started the fire that killed his wife) was sent there but disappeared. When Teddy gets there he has a headache and takes pills offered by a doctor. The reason Teddy is there to begin with, is that a mental patient went missing. This movie was actually good and that is saying a lot for a new movie. I would not rent this if I were you, I would just buy it on DVD. NO JOKE.

Oh the papers!

I have this old copy of a school newspaper from when I was in the eighth grade at Central Middle School. I was on the Publication Staff. I think back in the day we called ourselves the PUB staff. Although ironically, PUB also means bar. I could make a joke but I'll leave it alone.

I decided to upload a few pictures from that paper to show you all something I wrote in the eighth grade. I wrote about MTV AKA Music Television. I think you can enlarge the image and see my work. I used to love The Cranberries.

Okay, so back to the movies. I have seen a few since the last time I wrote in. Oh man there are some crappy movies.

S. Darko A Donnie Darko Tale directed by Chris Fisher-

In this movie these two girls decide to go to California. They end up in this little town and it was lame. One of the girls is Donnie's little sister Samantha. She had these bitchen heart shaped sun glasses but other then that- the movie sucked. In a few parts Sam is dead or looking dead. When they did her make up, it ended up making her look like something out of Demon night or Night of the Living Dead. The only funny parts were-
At one point the guy who ran the hotel came to the room for more money and Samantha told him she would have to talk to her friend. Then she shut the door. The guy who ran the hotel started to talk at the closed door and he ask Samantha questions. He ask if she remembered that island where Jimi Hendrix and Elvis are living and still playing music now?

Then the second funny thing was when-
That chick who played Jesse on Saved by the Bell started to describe what she thought Jesus Christ looked like. She said that he was tall, built, tan and had lightening volts coming out of his eyes.

The movie S. Darko was 1 hour and 43 minutes. I would personally like to add that- that was 1 hour and 43 minutes that I will not get back out of my life.

Jim Henson's storyteller; Greek Myths

This was an HBO series from 1987. If you rent this from Net Flix, then make sure you get all of them. They have broken them up by Myth. I watched the one about Daedalus and Iscarus. It was good but I wanted to see something about Pandora.

The Dog in the movie is too cool and will remind you of something from Sesame Street, or Fraggle Rock.

Ed Gein-

This movie was a view on the man whom everyone knows as Leather Face. I have heard a lot of stuff about this guy and I still question it because unless you sit down and talk with someone then you honestly can't say that you know anything. This movie was actually spooky but it was cheesy the way the man who played Ed Gein kept looking at people. It was like he was questioning them and waiting for his Eggo Waffle. This movie showed that he wanted to wear women's skin. That is true but I have heard rumors that he was never actually found. So I'm just going to say that with all things considering, it was good.

We all scream for Ice cream-

This movie was annoying. There is a little town with an ice cream man whom is mentally retarded. The kids in the town make fun of him and then he gets old and dies. Years later one of the kids (who is now an adult) moves back to the same town with his wife and kids. All the kids who made fun of the ice cream man back in the day start to die. Then everyone finds out that the new ghostly ice cream man who is the ghost of the old ice cream man has come back for revenge. That man gives all the children ice cream to eat, when they eat the ice cream- their parents melt and die. That all sounds okay but when you watch it, its more like-

If you take a Baskin Robins Ice cream commercial and then mix it with Desperate Housewives, then make a after school special for adults with them, there you go. It is boring and pathetic.

I went to the movies and saw the new Robin Hood and the new remake of Nightmare on Elm Street.

Robin Hood was great. It was funny in a few parts but it was not silly and they showed what heart there is in that story. Russle Crow was amazing as well. I swear that guy is just too easy to look at.

Nightmare on Elm Street used the one of the hero's from The Watchmen to play Freddy. It was not the exact same as the original and they did not turn it into some sex fest. There is nothing wrong with sex, but if your movie sucks so bad that you have to make people have sex just to get ratings then there is something wrong. It was clever and actually good but it was not great. That is not just because Robert Englund was not in it. The reason I say that- is that they took on one of the biggest classic films and made it pretty much the same as before. In the end, the mom was not sucked through the door. This was cool what they did. They made Freddy stand inside the mirror and reach out to pull her through by her eye sockets. The C.G.I was amazing considering that this was not a film about aliens or creatures. I was impressed with a lot in it and the over all movie but it was not perfect. I think in the dream world things are more like a wonderland of imagination. I think the only way they could have made this movie perfect without shit slinging from everyone would be if they over did the C.G.I and a few other things. I was also pleased that New Line Cinema did not pull a Lion's Gate and make the death scenes too nasty. If you have to pull out the guts out of your actor to make people not laugh at you then- there is something to worry about.

Alice in Wonderland

The weird thing about those two pictures right above where I'm writing is the fact that the man by himself on the left is Sir. Robert Helpmann the actor. The woman and man to the right are Lovely and Mr. Howell. That woman looks like Sir. Robert Helpmann. He was in a version of Alice in Wonderland that I watched last night. I am going to compare it the Tim Burton version a little later. The version I saw last night was called- Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. It was directed by . The story is different then the Lewis Carroll story in some ways. They start out with a boat ride which is ironically, the assumption of how Lewis Carroll aka Lewis Dodgeson came up with the idea for Alice. As history tells it,

This is a small biography written in blog form by myself Jessica.

Lewis Carroll was born with the Pen name of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson in 1832. He was a very shy, solitary, and talented man as we all know. Lewis was an English author and mathematician.

Lewis completed his education at Christ Church Oxford and received a lectureship which he held for most his life. Lewis found his happiest moments in the company of children and he sought their attention and company.

A boating picnic with the Liddell sisters lead to the book Alice in Wonderland 1865.

History tells that the story was to entertain the three girls but then lead into, the real Alice, but then lead into the literary creation of Alice's Adventures Underground, with his own illustrations. With urging from friends, the story was polished and then with John Tenniel's illustrations with the present title. The reception of the book caused Carroll to write a sequel, Through the looking Glass, and what Alice found 1872.

The story of Alice is Carroll's most recognized work, but he also published a serious and pedantic works on logic and mathematics.

Although in this 1972 movie when Alice played by (Fiona Fullerton) was talking to the Caterpillar (Ralph Richardson) she did argue with him over the nursery rhyme that she spoke but he did not go into the poem himself. She kept singing because this movie is a musical.

That I want to add, is my personal opinion of the 1960s and 1970s. The people of that generation had to sing so that their clothes would make sense. Then they all got depressed and started to use drugs. That would also explain their clothes and wall paper choices. Anyway in this movie, the part where Alice comes out of her own tears, only to dance to get dry is much different. The song they sing is different then the one in the actual novel written by Lewis Carroll, and I might want add that as she fell through the rabbit hole, she did NOT get any Orange Marmalade. Moving on blah blah I saw Tim Burton's cover of the story the night it came out in theaters.

Oh yes I had to and I even made an attempt to have dinner out. I did the usual Jessica thing that I do when I get the money to go out and eat.

1. I ate alone.

2. I had an alcoholic drink.

This time it was designed by me. I ask them to put Absolute Vanilla Vodka with strawberries, Bananas, whip cream, and ice.

3. I ordered desert first, and then took my meal home for later.

4. I left a tip.

5. That night I did not sit at one of the tables with crayons so that was a first. I usually scribble all over the place. NO JOKE.

Then I went and sat with a room full of people to see what Tim Burton had in store for us all. He did keep up with the book to a certain level but he made it his own and it was a little different then the actual book. The cat is out of the bag and so its not like I'm giving it away for you by talking about it now. Ann Hathaway played the white Queen. It was like waiting on Glenda the good witch to pass the bong. I don't believe in doing drugs but she walked around like she was floating and wanted to break out in song. I swear I'm not lying. I am not saying that Ann Hathaway does DRUGS. NO SHE DOES NOT. I am saying that the way she carried herself was like that lady from the Progressive commercials that goes by Flow or fay. The one who is always ditsy and weird. You just feel like she is going to break out in song like some lame 1970's movie. No I'm NOT saying the lady fay or flow from the Progressive commercials does drugs either.

The only musical that I have ever seen that did not make me want to bark, was The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I had to interject that. Okay back at it-
Then the best part was they finally showed off what that Red Queen did with all her severed heads from her subjects that she did not like. They put them in the water stream outside the castle. Alice had to walk over them. That was cool. Carter is one of my favorite actresses because she makes a face that is just igniting and no I'M NOT IN LOVE and NO I DO NOT WANT HER BODY. I swear I deal with morons. They have a two minute memory and honestly, have no idea what that crap sounds like when they mouth it. This is just my opinion. Although without the given that I'll sound narcissistic or self righteous- I think my opinion is special and not in a blue light red helmet kind of way. I like saying it how it is.

Let me tell you what I do not like- When you pick up a magazine and it says that there is a movie that is the must see of the year. Then you go see it only to be shown what should be the lamest attempt at giving people jobs so it looks like they do something for their money. You're bored and the only funny part of the movie is when you think about how lame it is. Then you think of ten ways to degrade it.

Oh and Avail Leven or whatever her name is. Did she ever figure out who the Ramones are? Yeah I heard on GMA that she was going to put out a special line of fashion for the Alice in Wonderland movie at Macey's or whatever. Does she even like Alice in Wonderland or is this one of those jump on the trains and hope to make a buck off it because most of her fans did not get their allowances yet and so royalties have not been coming in as fast? Was that a run on sentence? Okay well, my point is this- There are a lot of oh look a new whats in, and then you get everyone saying oh did you see me in it? Yeah we saw and still don't care. I am not saying don't better yourself. I am saying- DON'T FAKE IT. Oh I have always wanted to say this about that girl Avail. I picked up one of her CD's once (Yes I'm admitting it.) Well, it sucked. On her first album there is a song that gets played on the radio called Fake it or something like that. Ironically, there is a country song that is just like it. No joke. Its called complicated by Carolyn Dawn Johnson. I guess that is where Avail got her song. haha well I wouldn't know. That is an opinion. Country music is not that bad, its okay. There are a few good songs. That is not one of them. I am just saying. Okay well, I am going to upload some of my Alice stuff. I'm showing off now. I had a shitty day due to this weird EMO stalker that I have. He will not let me go and let a LOT of people see pictures he took of me without my permission.

Moving on-

Okay well I also picked up a book that for the first time in the history of my 30 years on this damn planet, I will not finish. It is called Alice in Sunderland. Bryan Talbot wrote a comic type book, that is Lewis Carroll going through the history of Sunderland the theater. I get it and its cool in a sense, but I do not care about Sunderland the theater. The coolest part of the book is the fact that Dark Horse published it. They put out the Hell Boy, and Emily the Strange comics. Other then that, we will not talk about it. The graphics in the book are respectable but I just don't care at to know about Sunderland.

The reason I have always loved Alice in Wonderland so much is probably because there is this similarity between my life and that story. The demanding red queen reminded me of my mother, and every little girl wants a white rabbit. Going through everything in life can be draining and it always seems like you are being stopped and questioned. No one said life was fair, but at times life comes off like it is one big obstacle. So the story just felt right as a child. It seemed like a true story when I was four years old. Now its the irony of my day. I loved picking flowers out of peoples yards when I was a little girl. I got into trouble for it so much. I would always go back and do it again. In the book of Alice in Wonderland she does love flowers and she talks about her cat as though it is a person. When you have a cat, they do seem like family. It is hard not to talk to them and expect them to do what you say. Cats do what they want, and it gets annoying. I do love the story of Alice in Wonderland and any time I find a version of it, even if I don't agree with it, I will pick it up and check it out. :)